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"Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Open Thread" and related posts (thebiglead.com)'Scuse me, Doctor Prince Alfonse, and I hate to bring this up, but you-being a dog, qualifies you, I believe, to comment on two vexacious issues that have been plaguing my mind.
First, on a lesser note, could you account for the reason why one of the most pernicious and lowly examples of human fodder be given canine qualities. I ask this knowing that you, as a most regal and dignified hound who exemplies all the noble qualities, temeperament and wisdom of all your 56 breeds and-oh my goodness, you just answered my question oh wise one. Hot dog= at least 56 different aspects of cows/pigs (lips, knees, earlobes etc.).
A second and more plaguing issue- who would want to stuff themselves stupid with these 56 different aspects? And in a competitive manner? For the accolades and derision of others? World-wide? Would you do this Doctor Prince Alfonse? Even as I type this the news that tells us a Chinese tightrope artist dressed as Elvis spent 60 days on the high-wire. Now that is something to brag about, don't you think?
Oh, Doctor Prince Alfonse, you wouldn't understand what it is about humans that we must distinguish ourselves by our menial pursuits. We should all be like you Doctor, and distinguish outselves by doing the simple, most life affirming actions, with great gusto and dignity.
